What a letdown
Greetings all. Today, the Drudge Report sports this exciting teaser: “Boy, 3, saved by puppies…” which links to this story, headlined “Puppies save three-year-old boy lost in freezing Virginia woods.” Sounds promising!
So what was it that these four-legged heroes did to rescue our wayward toddler? Did they haul him out of a pit of quicksand? Stoutly fight off an angry bear? Leap through a plate-glass window, knock over a telephone and dial 9-1-1 with their wet little noses?
No, they snuggled up to him when it got cold. Let us leave aside the obvious naked self-interest involved in these puppies exhibiting totally normal snuggling behavior (the puppies were cold, too!). When I see a headline promising to tell the story of puppies “saving” a little boy, I demand Disney Movie of the Week-scale heroics! What we see here, my friends, is nothing less than the soft bigotry of low expectations.
Now, I am as gratified as anyone that this little boy was recovered safe and sound by his grateful family. All I’m asking for is a little truth in advertising. How about this: Puppies, boy snuggle in furtherance of mutual aim of heat preservation.
December 9th, 2008 at 9:48 am
Or how about “Boy, Near Death, Saves Puppies”?
December 11th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Or how about: “Freezing Boy Dreams About Hot Dogs?”
December 13th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Or how about “Bestial Boy Bundles Beneath Bitches”? Or “Dire dogpile discovered downstate”? Or “Chilly child chooses chihuahuas”?
December 15th, 2008 at 11:01 am
“Curs cuddle cold kiddie!”
December 16th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Labs Lend Lad Lard
Shaver Shivers, Mongrels Miserable: Therapeutic Thermal Thaw Thanks to Equal Energy Exchange
December 30th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
You mean my cats don’t snuggle with me just because they love me??